Tuesday, 10 December 2013

Nothing days.

Posted by tracy watkiss at 17:12 4 comments
Since Saturday night I have had 3 nothings days. Days where I want to do absolutely nothing days, I manage to go to the shop get the papers and that is it.

I was meant to be going to the gym tonight with my 2 dear friends and social support, but I have bailed out as the panic and stress attacks have been very bad this week, chest is permanently tight at the moment.  Hubby actually witnessed the worst yet and it really upset him as there was nothing he could do to make it better.

Oh well! Another fresh day tomorrow to see how we go. One day at a time most of last week was good this week so far is not. No Need to comment, just my rambling.

I am lucky, I have a loving family and friends who whilst they do not fully understand what Is happening to me or how to deal with it. They support and help regardless. xx

Saturday, 7 December 2013

funny old game!

Posted by tracy watkiss at 22:13 2 comments
Well today has been a day of two halves, this morning I went to a race that I had paid to do way back earlier in the summer. Ran walked 7.5 miles in woodland, struggled with my fitness but finished it none the less.

So why did I push myself to go, basically thursday and friday I had spent indoors, struggling with my self and this thing called depression that people don't like to admit too or talk about. I am learning too.

Of course once I finished the race I thought I was invincible ready for anything, so went along to the Running Clubs Christmas Party. BAD IDEA! V BAD IDEA. was chatting in the corner to my close friends as we got there early, the club started to fill up, people started to come say hello. The Band started and the music got loud. I could feel the panic and stress overtaking me. So looked at hubby and  left at 9.30. It is now 10:15 I am at home coffee in hand deep breathing trying to get my chest to open up, as it feels like a tight vice like grip squeezing me at the moment.

Hey ho I will keep trying.

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