Well today has been a day of two halves, this morning I went to a race that I had paid to do way back earlier in the summer. Ran walked 7.5 miles in woodland, struggled with my fitness but finished it none the less.
So why did I push myself to go, basically thursday and friday I had spent indoors, struggling with my self and this thing called depression that people don't like to admit too or talk about. I am learning too.
Of course once I finished the race I thought I was invincible ready for anything, so went along to the Running Clubs Christmas Party. BAD IDEA! V BAD IDEA. was chatting in the corner to my close friends as we got there early, the club started to fill up, people started to come say hello. The Band started and the music got loud. I could feel the panic and stress overtaking me. So looked at hubby and left at 9.30. It is now 10:15 I am at home coffee in hand deep breathing trying to get my chest to open up, as it feels like a tight vice like grip squeezing me at the moment.
Hey ho I will keep trying.
So why did I push myself to go, basically thursday and friday I had spent indoors, struggling with my self and this thing called depression that people don't like to admit too or talk about. I am learning too.
Of course once I finished the race I thought I was invincible ready for anything, so went along to the Running Clubs Christmas Party. BAD IDEA! V BAD IDEA. was chatting in the corner to my close friends as we got there early, the club started to fill up, people started to come say hello. The Band started and the music got loud. I could feel the panic and stress overtaking me. So looked at hubby and left at 9.30. It is now 10:15 I am at home coffee in hand deep breathing trying to get my chest to open up, as it feels like a tight vice like grip squeezing me at the moment.
Hey ho I will keep trying.
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