I sit here this morning, drinking my coffee and looking out onto what seems a beautiful sunny morning, that may be deceptive as I have not actually ventured outside yet to realise the temperature of the day.
I am sitting quietly contemplating life, berating myself as I have not been able to take my Oscar dog out for a long walk in a while. life is not bad at the moment there is no major upset just a little bump in the road.
I was hoping that by now I would be back at work attending to the community needs with my fellow Nursing assistants and District nurses. Unfortunately that is not the case. I have doctors again tomorrow, whilst I feel that my general well being has improved, I have noticed that my left leg has started to niggle again.
I drove last Tuesday about an 45 minute journey out walked around for 30 minutes max then drove the return journey home. When I went to bed that evening my left leg was rock hard and twice the size of my right leg. since then the same muscle as before Christmas has been pulsing every day. This is the suspect leg of the Pulmonary Embolism's I suffered back on the 28th December. I have booked a doctors appointment to discuss this, it is scheduled for tomorrow.My haematology appointment is on the 4th April to see if it is a genetic thing from my paternal side.
Whilst I try to remain upbeat I find it has aged me ( tired me out) , and seen me feeling like I have so many questions.
1) Is Life really to short to keep pushing for a career that sees me exhausted and aching at the end of most shifts and some visits?
2) Is my body telling me to slow down and take time to smell the roses more?
3) Will I still be able to do my job to the best of my ability, if and when I am allowed back?
4) Should I just bow out respectfully and try to make a go of my handbag and pursemaking skills in a small business?
5) Would this allow me to be spending more time with my husband who is home full time with his own health issues and walking the dog more as Hubby cannot do the long walks?
My sewing has kept me sane these last couple of months, although just cutting a pattern is more tiring than it once was LOL! I think I am such a woose at times.
Well my friends hubby has appeared downstairs and it looks like the newspapers need to be fetched and a couple of other items need to be purchased.
I will be back again soon as I will have a couple of makes to share.