Well again it has been a month since I posted on this ere blog.
Life has taken a whole new turn for me and I am finally feeling a lot happier. So here is my open letter.
Dear All,
I am taking responsibility for my 2 gap years on life. (Maybe it was a mid life crisis).
I struggled with life, struggled with running a business,(a business I thought was my dream, I found out I am no good at being a business woman or running a business, for me apart from Karen it was my nightmare). I struggled with family relationships and friend communication.
I did not cope and spiralled out of control. I turned my back on friends, I had to walk away from my business.
I know some people do not understand, will not forgive me. To them I apologise. I have lost friends who I know will not come back into my life if you were one of them I am sorry if you feel hurt by my actions, I never meant to hurt you, I was to busy hurting myself emotionally. Not everything was my fault but I do take responsibility for it.
I tried really hard with the help of two friends to show I was coping, having fun.
Even those two friends have been neglected these last few months. Sorry.
If I am honest I struggle with commitments not through illness now, but I have a husband who is far poorlier than I ever was. It has put things in perspective to me, between working and studying and making sure I am there for him, it leaves me little time for socializing. I love My husband, My Beautiful Daughters and my rather Funny Son-In-Law. I love my mum too even though she treats me like I am 12 years old still. My Family are top of my spend time with list - and I so want to see my friends too. xx
But a wise lady told me today, it's time to hold my head up high again, stop hiding away through fear of hurting/ facing those people again.
So after all that I draw a line under the past. I hope you all can too.
Funny now I am working as a Health Care Assistant, I work within Mental Health. It Fits me. I am happy in my work.
Tonight I intend to go out for a proper grown up night out, the first in over 8 months or more. I have a friend who is renewing her wedding vows. I am so looking forward to celebrating this happy event with her and her family and mutual friends. xx
Kind Regards
Tracy xxx
Life has taken a whole new turn for me and I am finally feeling a lot happier. So here is my open letter.
Dear All,
I am taking responsibility for my 2 gap years on life. (Maybe it was a mid life crisis).
I struggled with life, struggled with running a business,(a business I thought was my dream, I found out I am no good at being a business woman or running a business, for me apart from Karen it was my nightmare). I struggled with family relationships and friend communication.
I did not cope and spiralled out of control. I turned my back on friends, I had to walk away from my business.
I know some people do not understand, will not forgive me. To them I apologise. I have lost friends who I know will not come back into my life if you were one of them I am sorry if you feel hurt by my actions, I never meant to hurt you, I was to busy hurting myself emotionally. Not everything was my fault but I do take responsibility for it.
I tried really hard with the help of two friends to show I was coping, having fun.
Even those two friends have been neglected these last few months. Sorry.
If I am honest I struggle with commitments not through illness now, but I have a husband who is far poorlier than I ever was. It has put things in perspective to me, between working and studying and making sure I am there for him, it leaves me little time for socializing. I love My husband, My Beautiful Daughters and my rather Funny Son-In-Law. I love my mum too even though she treats me like I am 12 years old still. My Family are top of my spend time with list - and I so want to see my friends too. xx
But a wise lady told me today, it's time to hold my head up high again, stop hiding away through fear of hurting/ facing those people again.
So after all that I draw a line under the past. I hope you all can too.
Funny now I am working as a Health Care Assistant, I work within Mental Health. It Fits me. I am happy in my work.
Tonight I intend to go out for a proper grown up night out, the first in over 8 months or more. I have a friend who is renewing her wedding vows. I am so looking forward to celebrating this happy event with her and her family and mutual friends. xx
Kind Regards
Tracy xxx
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