Life's funny like that

Okay, so here's where we are at!
I half owned a shop, got poorly. Walked away from shop with business partners help. 
Reflected and decided I wanted to be a nurse/ a carer someone who made a difference and looked after people. So I looked into College / Uni and got a job as a care assistant! 

I started Eating Healthy, Exercising and Running, I was BETTER!!!!!

SCREEECCHHH!!!! Hit the brakes! BANG!!!!

Oh how foolish, its all gone Pete Tong! (WRONG).

College was going to be full time - work would not be possible around it, (Financially not viable), 
So Okay, plan B work hard at the home obtain NVQ's everything will be fine

 Go to work happy happy, oh dear have a shift from hell  3 other staff members were not acting appropriate in front of residents, 
(younger staff letting laughter and language get out of control, making me take sharp intake of  breaths, then realising I was the only one in the dining room with 20 out of 22 residents, they slightly forgot they were there to work, residents noticed and started to comment and complain.) 
Don't get me wrong this home offers first class care, but this shift was totally out of the norm and needed nipping in the bud. So Next morning I reported my concerns to deputy, BIG MISTAKE one of them, a new member of staff took umbrage and has made it a mission to have a go at me at every opportunity( This young girl is very confident granted - but when does confidence turn to arrogance). Despite other staff and management agreeing with me and my position on the shift,   this sees my confidence and fragile shell shattered, discussions with family and friends ensued and  so healthy eating, exercise and running started to slip. So I decided to leave, the home did try to get me to change my mind, praising my care qualities, which was lovely.

Roll forward to today, and as I sit and type this it is the morning after my last ever shift. I am taking time out again. Time to just enjoy life, work a little, play a lot. I am lucky and have very supportive friends and family, one of which has given me a little part time job working 4 hour shifts, so I don't sit and fret LOL! The good thing is she knows my life style and I can now run again every Thursday night yay! 

I am away on Holiday with my Youngest daughter soon so on reflection I am going to eat with weight watching in mind but not totally on track until after the holiday. Enjoy running as often as I can until after too.

Then when I am home It will be operation Be Fitter ME!!

Oh and the caring, making a difference and looking after people mantra - don't worry its still within me - but I have finally realised it has to be to myself first.

Feeling optimistic, Okay I have lost round two of the battle, but I have not lost this war.


Bernie Simmons said…
Wonderful post Tracy it will become better ....have the holiday guilt free you did the right thing. I would and have done the same ...similar at school. xxx Look forward to that coffee!
Karen Hoskin said…
You just need to concentrate on number one for a while honey, the rest will come in time. Stop beating yourself up and just be the you, you want to be and stuff everyone else for now
Lisa Cornwall said…
Sending you hugs hunny. Chin up. Onwards and upwards. Xx