Saturday, 12 April 2014

Posted by tracy watkiss at 18:48
Well hello everyone, 
I have not been making much this week at all.

Its funny really as I have sat back on my struggle days this week to reflect on the person I was before the depression and anxiety struck, to the person that is slowly emerging the other side, all be it a bit slower than I am happy with.

1) 
Before,  I used to love sitting and crafting , 

Now, at the moment I can take or leave it if I am truly honest. I find myself feeling like I have more to contribute in life than my craft skills. I find myself thinking I have at least 25 years of work left in me, what do I want to do? Thinking is good, thinking means I was down but not out. 

2) 
Before, My husbands' family and I don't see eye to eye and this used to get to me and, I would get angry and my hubby and me would disagree alot.

Now,  I have learnt since my parents in law are both no longer alive. I do not need to let them get to me, I have learnt to let it go.  He needs to see his siblings they are his family, I understand and except this, but I do not have to see them. Calm resides where anger used to be.

3) 
Before, my family are different, we were very close growing up, I cannot deny when my dad passed away at 51yrs old in 1999, it affected us all in different ways and so the closeness was stretched.

Now,  I Love them all regardless and need to stay in touch more. We are all as bad as one another for not keeping in touch more. I am finding I need them now more than ever. I must make more effort.

4)
Before, I used to worry, what if people don't like me, what if they don't like what I do / say / make creatively / decide on what I want for me. I must not rock the status quo. I must not upset others, they must come first I owe them that.

Now, I am beginning to realise, I am me, my needs are important and If I am not happy I will have to upset some people and change things that I am not happy or content with, I have to do what is right for me.

So that is this weeks mind ramblings.

Life changes, plans change, progress changes things. We grow and change. Of one thing I am certain Life is full of surprises, twists and turns, we have to learn adapt and move forward. 


On a lighter note a very lovely quilting lady, told me today she reads my blog.
Sometimes I make her laugh, sometimes I make her cry.
But she wanted me to know she reads it and I am missed.

It is so very reassuring, humbling and lovely to know that there are still some very caring people in this city, that will take the time out of their very busy lives to tell you something like that. 
It made my day a whole lot better.
We all need to take a lesson from that lady, it does not take much to be nice and make someone's day.

You know who you were, and I thank you, as you never knew I was really struggling just to be in work today and that simple act, made me stay a lot longer than I wanted to originally.





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